How To Reject Someone Else

Perhaps the most difficult and hardest thing during a relationship is saying, "no." It's difficult to break off a relationship with so many emotions involved, especially the time you've shared together. Not only are you concerned about your feelings, your also concerned about his feelings...

"How do I tell him he's not my type?"

· Be honest and tell the man that you liked him but don't feel any chemistry/spark. Most men will understand. It is better to be upfront and honest than lead a man along. The longer you take the more difficult it will be. Women who lead men along are labeled as teases.

· Sit down over a glass of wine or coffee and say, "I treasure our friendship, but I don't think it can go any further than that, hope you understand."

· Explain what a wonderful experience it was and that you are disappointed that there is no special feeling. Explain that you are sure someone more suitable than you will come along.

· Respect the person; explain honestly why you don't think it will work. Never make it seem like it is his entire fault. Remember it takes two to form a relationship.

· Don't drag it, when you know you are not going anywhere with the relationship why persist. You are not doing either the man or yourself a favor the longer you hold on the more difficult it gets, so end it soon. Make a clean break.

· Never make the mistake of overlapping-don't start a new relationship before ending the old one. You will come across as a two-timer and not reliable.

· Watch what you say. Don't say, "let us be friends" it does not work. When you are considering or in a serious relationship one cannot terminate the relationship and expect to remain friends. It is not advisable at all.

· Never break up in a public place or send him a one-line message or offline message. It is insulting and the sign of a coward.

· Never pick a fight or try and assign blame. It is no way to ease personal guilt. Be open and honest. Unnecessary heartache is to be avoided.

Always state your feelings clearly don't leave any chance for doubt that things can pick up sometime or the other. A clean break is best.

Never ignore a person -always answer e-mails or messages. Silence does not mean "no" it just proves you are a rude person. Say what you feel/think honestly. Put a full stop to it and move on.

As far as dating sites are concerned you have the option of clicking "decline" if you don't want to respond to a mail sent by a member. They also provide an option where you can, by choice block mails from specific people.

If you still continue to receive unwanted mail, then shut the account down and register for a new e-mail ID. Very nasty or nuisance mails can be reported to the site - they will take the necessary steps to protect you.

One of the advantages of being online is that you don't have the emotional trauma of rejecting a person face to face-an IM or e-mail explaining why "No" can be done politely and clearly.

According to experts one must be clear in mind and heart that it is not going to work. Vacillating is unhealthy. There is either no or yes-"maybe" does not exist. Be absolutely sure before you reject a man. Secondly, never dish out the "silent treatment" - stop answering mails, ignore IMs, or refuse calls. It is rude and disturbing. Being an ostrich is not going to help -don't hide, say what you want to clearly and in no uncertain terms. And finally, break up early in the relationship don't carry on when in doubt. It's unfair to lead a person along when you know this is not going anywhere.

Breaking up in no fun for you or the man - do it with honesty, gentleness, and compassion.

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